Regulate Non-Surgical Aesthetics? Fine.
Regulate Private Dentistry Fees? Questionable.
But Can We PLEASE Regulate… the Awards Industry?
So the government wants to regulate non-surgical aesthetics.
They even want to peek into private dentistry fees – why??????
But here’s my unpopular viewpoint — the part no one is brave enough to say:
Can we also regulate the Awards Industry?
Because at this point, it’s basically the Wild West wearing a sparkly lanyard.
We have:
- Company-based awards
- Ego-based awards
- Academy-based awards
- Publisher-based awards
- Awards invented last Tuesday
- Awards for people who enter awards
- Awards for being in the same postcode as someone who once won an award
It’s endless.
And the best bit?
Most of these “awards” are self-selected.
You enter.
You pay.
You win.
Congratulations — you’re now “Multi-Award-Winning” because your debit card didn’t decline.
Then you’ve got the other variety — the ones where the real judging criteria appears to be:
“Show me the money.”
Buy a table?
Upgrade to VIP?
Purchase the sponsor package?
Maybe, just maybe, you’ll walk home with a shiny acrylic triangle.
And yes — this does happen.
And no — before anyone asks — no one has ever tried to bribe me.
Frankly, a little insulted.
I’d at least like the option to decline dramatically.
I’m actually thinking of launching my own ceremony:
The BBB — BTC Bribery Bongs Awards
(Because if we’re doing corruption, we might as well brand it properly.)
Or perhaps:
- BTC Brown-Envelope Bonanza
- BTC Bought-Not-Earned Bash
- BTC Back-Pocket Brilliance Awards
Now before the internet sets itself on fire, let me be clear:
There are genuinely ethical, hard-working, rigorously judged awards out there.
I’m a judge for one of them — and I’ve seen the hours entrants put in and the integrity the judging panel holds.
Some clinicians truly deserve recognition.
But here’s the uncomfortable question no one wants to ask:
Are we deceiving the public?
Patients walk past a sign saying “Award-Winning Clinic” and assume it means something.
But how can they possibly know whether it’s a genuine accolade…
or just a shiny trophy from a “pay-to-play, organiser-with-a-god-complex, show-me-the-money” ceremony?
How does a patient distinguish excellence…
from excellent markup?
Because if we inside the industry can barely tell which awards mean something —
what chance does the public have?
And finally, a moment of comic relief:
On my recent trip to London, I walked past a clinic proudly displaying:
“Award Winner 2002”
I genuinely stopped.
Checked the street signs.
Wondered if I’d slipped into Back to the Future.
My second thought — like most people:
“They were good…
in 2002.
They must be awful now.”
