Growing up as the kid of immigrants, we weren’t “poor,” but let’s just say our idea of “luxuries” was a box of ladoos at Christmas. My parents worked TWO jobs each—no vacations, no fancy gadgets, zero treats. Me and my siblings? We spent every school holiday hustling for pocket money, because that’s how you learned that money doesn’t grow on trees.
Fast-forward to now: we’ve got a little breathing room. I’m blessed to give my kids things I never had—a weekend theme-park trip, extra Gucci belts, the latest trainers. And yeah, it feels good to spoil them a bit.
But here’s where I trip up: I worry they’ll think everything’s handed to them on a silver platter. I catch myself saying “sure, go ahead” a little too quickly, and then later I feel that pang of guilt like, “Wait—you’ve got to earn your stripes too.” How do I teach them the value of hard graft when my impulse is to soften every corner of their childhood?
I’m stuck between two worlds:
The “do it yourself, no free lunches” side that remembers my 5am paper rounds.
The “but I want them to feel loved and have fun” side that says, “Go ahead, kiddo, I’ll will pay for the LEGO set.”
I keep reminding myself: yes, they deserve joy—and yes, they need grit. So I’m trying a new rule: for every treat, they’ve gotta tackle a little task (help unload groceries, pack a care package for someone in need, bake cookies for Grandma).
Parents—how do YOU balance spoiling your kids with teaching them that life’s rewards come from effort?
I need all the help I can get!
